People Never Forget

“I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”
― Maya Angelou

Asking for Permission = Building Trust

How important is asking for permission anyway?

I mean we’ve all heard the old saying that goes something like,
“It is better to ask for forgiveness than permission.”
And I have certainly followed this “guidance” on many occasions.

What does asking for and waiting to receive permission gain you?
True, you risk not getting permission and therefore not getting to accomplish your agenda.

But what impact does it have on your relationships?

Today I was reminded of how asking for and waiting to receive permission impacts relationships. Think of a time that someone borrowed something from you without asking. How did you feel toward that person? I know a tinge of mistrust would rise inside me toward that person. Now think of a time you did not ask your parents’ permission to do something. Do you think their trust in you increased or decreased?

Trust is one thing you can find in strong, lasting relationships.
Deep down relationships are more important to me than accomplishing my agenda.
So why would I do something that chips away at the trust someone has in me?

I think asking for AND then waiting to be granted permission is a very important aspect of building and maintaining trust in relationships. To say it another way, not asking for permission negatively impacts the trust people have in you.

I hope to become more conscious about asking for permission and waiting for the response instead of just doing what I want in hopes I will be forgiven.

My heart

I want to:
Bring good news to the afflicted;
Comfort the brokenhearted,
Proclaim liberty to captives and freedom to prisoners;
Proclaim the victory and justice of our God;
Comfort all who mourn,
Provide for those who grieve, to give them:
Flowers instead of ashes,
The spirit of gladness instead of mourning,
The mantle of praise instead of a spirit of despair
So they will be called oaks of righteousness,
The planting of God, that He may be glorified.

From Isaiah 61: 1-3

When To Quit

How do you know when to quit?

Is there any situation in life where it is easy to know when to quit?
I mean it might be easy for one person to know when to quit drinking, but not easy for another. Or it might be easy for me to know when to stop running, but my dog Lucy doesn't know when to quit fetching when we play ball to prevent over heating (I have to stop her).

Do you know when to quit?

What about knowing when to quit going down a path that you've thought is the right path for a long time but now you are starting to question if it is still the right path?

I have a hard time making U turns. It means quitting the direction I was going to try another. What if the original direction was the right direction?

When is a journey hard because its the wrong journey?
When is a journey hard because it's the right journey and you are supposed to grow through it?
How can you tell the difference between these two kinds of hard?

The Eight Responsibilities

The Eight Responsibilities for a successful partnership
(based on Pat Parelli's theory)

For myself:
1) Put the relationship first, not my goals
2) I am responsible for my balance
3) Put myself in their shoes
4) Use the natural power of focus

The other four are for whomever I in a partnership with... but I can't control them, so I need to focus on the four for me.

Natural Horsemanship

As many of you know I love horses. I love to watch them in the pasture, groom them, feed them, ride them and just be around them. Always have, probably always will.

Two years ago I began studying a method of interacting with horses called Natural Horsemanship. Outside the horse world, you would have seen similar concepts in the movie "The Horse Whisperer".

The methods have more to do with learning how to control my emotions, spirit and body language so that I can build trust and respect with another creature. In turn the other creature (in this case a horse) will want to follow me and as a partner we can do many things.

I want to share some of my thoughts, reflections and ideas in some blog posts.

Enjoy!

The kind of leader I want to be...

I want to be a leader who achieves success without force, partnership without dominance, teamwork without fear, willingness without intimidation, and harmony without coercion.

Blind

The view from the inside, or lack of view.

I was just reflecting on an experience I had several months ago when I was rock climbing with some friends.

I made two climbs that day. The first climb was fun, enjoyable; I wasn't tired so I could enjoy life going on around me. The second climb was a different story.

The second climb: half way up I became consumed by the fatigue my body was feeling and the difficulty of the climb. I became blind. Blind to opportunities of ledges and cracks that were close by. Blind to the fact that all I had to do to reach the top was straighten my legs. I was so consumed in my world which appeared difficult, that I was ready to give up.

But my friends around me were not blind. They could see the whole situation. They could see the ledges and cracks which would provide perfect handholds. They could see that my leg was still bent and all I needed to do was straighten it. They were my eyes and my encouragement to reach the top.

When I reflect back on the situation, I think to myself... "If only I didn't let fear and fatigue blind and paralyze me, then I would have been able to reach the top without so much emotion and difficulty. I could have done it so much better. I wouldn't have needed help."

Is that the goal, to not need help?

Hmm... I don't think so. The goal is to get to the top, to finish the race. And I am thankful to those around me who can see clearly the whole picture when I am blinded by my circumstances. I want to learn to keep trusting those around me who can see the whole picture and want to help get to the top.

Think this applies to more than just rock climbing?

Friend's Wedding

My friend Alex was married Sept 1st. I was one of her bridesmaids.

Here's the pic. Can you find me?

Extra Powers

My extra sensory powers are not with me today.

You know the ones that keep you in touch with things happening more than 2ft away from you.

Today things have to be starring me in the face for me to realize what is going on, if even then.

New Sister!!!

Just back from my brother's wedding. I have a new sister. Her name is Jenny.

She loves animals (horses included), loves outdoor stuff and has a super sense of humor. I am excited to have her as part of our family.

Contrats, Mark!!!


My Chinese fortune from lunch today is, "This is a good time for you to take a risk. You will succeed."

Guess I just need to come up with a risk to take.

1st Sister In-Law

Two days from now I will get my very first sister in-law.

My brother Mark is getting married!

I'll post a picture of 'em soon.

13

My department moved office locations this past week. We now work of floor 13.

Good thing I'm not superstitious.

Learning

A quote I read.

"That which we persist in doing becomes easier--not because the nature of the task has changed, but our ability to do so has increased."

- Ralph Waldo Emerson

I heard a lecture on how adults learn about 2 months ago. Something that stuck out to me was when the speaker said, you can't expect to learn if you continue to do things you are comfortable with.

I robbed someone...

of the oppertunity to be generous. Have you ever been in the situation where someone whats to give you something or do something for you that will clearly be a sacrifice for them? And so your automatic response is to refuse their offer because "you don't deserve" their gift or service and you may be capable of doing it or getting it yourself.

This situation recently came up (and has many other times in my life). I refused and did a good job of refusing it. Then it hit me.

I was robbing this person of the opportunity to be generous. I felt really bad.

I remembered something I was taught back when I was a teen working at a summer camp. We were responsible for carrying the luggage of the campers from their cars to the luggage tent and the haul it up the mountain to their cabins. The guys that were also working kept taking the suitcase away from the girls who were working, you know being "gentlemen". It was sooo frustrating. So we had a lesson (or the guys did rather) about serving others by letting them serve.

I need to remember to let other people serve and be generous.

Even though I don't deserve it. Cause let's face it, I really don't deserve anything. I am a broken, selfish person. It is my nature.

Heading to India

Hi, I'll fill you in on more details later. But I'm heading off on an adventure. Here's where I'll be.

Pictures from April's Meeting

Pictures from our April Pony Club Meeting!

A couple of chivalrous knights taking a break from Dressage....

A Great Sound In the Parking Deck

I love it when the Hawks have home games because the C.R.E.A.M. Drum Corps practice in my parking deck before the game. This means when I leave the office, I get to hear the greatest rhythmic beat there ever was in any parking deck. I LOVE IT!!!!

You Know It's Time To Go When...

You know it has been a long week and it is now time to go when...

my coworkers gather in the hall with a 2.5 foot long plastic golf club and are having contests to see who can hit the pin pong ball the farthest down the hall.

Rainy Daz

What to do on a rainy day?

Jump in puddles, catch rain drops on your tongue, watch people scurry from car to door and back, build dams in the gutters with leaves, and not worry about getting wet. I mean I'm not going to melt.

If only I could do those things now. Instead I am stuck in the office staring out my window. (btw you know in the movie Office Space where Peter knocks down his cube walls so he has a window view? well I actually have the window view! in fact all I have to do is glance past my monitor and I get to see the great outdoors). I'm not sure what is worse. Not being able to see outside or being able to see outside but not actually BE out there.

Back to work. In 7 weeks I'll be heading for the mountains in a far off place!